Being clumsy is your primary-and adorable-character trait. If the latter, you’ll be carrying a half dozen coffees that are spilling all over your cardigan, flitting around New York City in a pencil skirt and high heels. If the former, you’ll be wearing a headset microphone and carrying a clipboard, flitting around a control room in a pencil skirt and high heels. If you answered mostly AsĬongratulations! Your rom-com lady career is vaguely arts related, probably at a television studio or women’s magazine. I mean, yes, but you’re going to say no because even though it said she wasn’t hurt, this might turn out to be a trick question or something. You’re not proud of it, but what do you want me to say here?ī. Do you laugh? Please note here that she is actually completely uninjured. “I’m okay!” she croaks from the pavement. She slips like a cartoon character, tiny-heeled boots flung straight out in front of her so she’s fully horizontal above the ground before she falls. But not just “slip” the way most people use the word slip. On a winter day in the sixth grade, your same English teacher-a woman with a poodle poof of white hair, who wears floor-length skirts and a brooch at her neck like she’s onboard the Titanic-comes outside to shepherd you back in from recess when she slips on the ice. Draw a wolf with charcoal and place a poem you wrote and printed onto clear paper over the drawing for an effect that you truly think belongs in an art museum.ĥ. In sixth grade, you read The Call of the Wild and your English teacher has you create a project to represent the book. What was your favorite subject in school?ģ. Are you a left-brain thinker or a right-brain thinker?Ģ. This long-form personality quiz manages to combine humor with unflinching honesty as one young woman tries to find herself amid the many, many choices that your twenties have to offer. Part-memoir, part-VERY long personality test, Choose Your Own Disaster is a manifesto about the millennial experience and modern feminism and how the easy advice of “you can be anything you want!” is actually pretty fucking difficult when there are so many possible versions of yourself it seems like you could be.ĭana has no idea who she is, but at least she knows she’s a Carrie, a Ravenclaw, a Raphael, a Belle, a former emo kid, a Twitter addict, and a millennial just trying her best. Join Dana Schwartz on a journey revisiting all of the awful choices she made in her early twenties through the internet’s favorite method of self-knowledge: the quiz. A”hilarious and heartbreaking” (Jo Piazza) and unflinchingly honest memoir about one young woman’s terrible and life-changing decisions while hoping–and sometimes failing–to find herself, in the style of Never Have I Ever and Adulting.
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